My Week in Instagram Snaps

I've been obsessed with Instagram for a good amount of time now, so I thought I'd share with you guys what my week looks like in Instagram photos. Follow me @annalereveur. Hope you like xx

Hugs & Lovin',

Anna

Standards vs Expectations

"Whatever it is you're seeking won't come in the form you're expecting." -Haruki Murakami

Being a nineteen year old girl, one of the most exciting things that happens in my life is when a boy comes along. It's what my friends and I talk about: "Let's go dancing, let's go party, let's go clubbing, oh hey did you see that guy walk in? He's cute."

Boys boys boys. It's on our minds constantly, our hormones just won't have it any other way. Besides it's interesting when something new sparks 'cause every person is different and you never know exactly what's going to happen. If THAT's not defeating the mundane, then I don't know WHAT is.

Yet thus far, none of these SoCal boys have seemed to stick. Either I get bored or they get bored or we both lose interest and mutually disconnect. So when I meet someone I really connect to, I have to be careful to maintain my usually cool-nonchalant-don'tcare attitude towards the whole dating thing, for fear I'll fall into a giggly, shy-girl version of myself who shows too much. And it's hard, because for some reason when we're attracted to someone, we lose all sense of self.

When true attraction and chemistry is present between two people, it's easy to get overwhelmed with all the emotions you're feeling, emotions that you're not even sure  you can define. I speak in general terms because I've spoken about this with many of my girlfriends, and they all feel the same.

If some girl who we really connected with walked into our lives tomorrow, would we drop everything after a two hour heads up to be with them?
The answer is no. This girl is a stranger who we barely know. We would take our time to build the friendship until we felt that girl had earned our trust and valued the friendship in a reciprocated way.

So why do we do this with boys? We forget, in the first few weeks of dating, they're a complete stranger too.

I emphasize this sooooo much because recently, a boy whom I was dating made me question my standards for a relationship. And by relationship I don't mean "boyfriend-girlfriend". I simply mean a friendship with a boy where it's obvious that you guys are both into each other.

I don't want to get into the nitty gritty but basically this boy did something which I considered completely rude and it really pissed me off. And I don't get mad easily -- ima yogi. I was really surprised by it too.

After I left him I rethought my actions and wondered if I had been too rash. But then I thought, "If he was my boyfriend, would I have let this slide?"

Uh, no. Definitely not.

If I wouldn't let my boyfriend get away with it, why would I let some guy I just met have a free pass?

My standards aren't unreasonable. I expect you to treat me with respect. That's it. If you can't do that, then byee. Not gonna waste my time with you when I know there's other guys out there who will.

Of course with any new relationship you might hope for your boy to do some special things. Be romantic, say sweet things to you, pick up the check, stuff like that. But those things are negotiable and different from person to person, ever person has their own unique way of showing affection. Those expectations you have for the guy you're dating may not be met, but that doesn't mean he can't surprise you in other ways.

In the end I feel I made the right decision by sticking to my guns, because I value myself too much as a human being to have anyone walk all over me. I know there are plenty of fish in the sea, and one day this dude will realize how he fucked up. Will I be around when that day comes? Who knows. But I can tell you this, I'm definitely not waiting around for it. Salsa dancing with the girls tomorrow!

x Happy Hump Day x

            Anna

Hola, I'm Aliveee

Hi to anyone perusing this page right now.

If you've taken the time to scroll through some of my posts (thank you by the way) you'll see that this is my first post in a whileee, to say the least.

I'm back now! Let's just say that I wasn't living by the motto I created this blog by.

So I decided to take a little break and it did my wonders! For some reason the busier I am, the happier I am and the more conscientious I am about taking care of myself. I know, doesn't make sense but whatevs.

Lately inspiration has been hitting my from all angles and I'm excited to delve back into this little project I started.

For now I just wanted to update you guys as to my existence and leave you with a quote I read the other day that stuck to me like glue. I don't know where it's from so if you do, please comment down below!

" 'How does one become a butterfly?' she asked pensively.

                'You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar.' "

Hugs & Lovin' xoxo

Anna

Trust My Soul

HI GUYS

Here's a poem I started a while ago and just recently added on to. Hope you enjoyyyyy...

Trust My Soul

Trust my soul

Trust it to keep things hidden

Trust it to hold truth

Trust it to want lies

Lies that will unveil the ways undeviated.

Touch your way into my soul

And you will definitely find darkness

Darkness that has gone unpenetrated by light

The biggest lie it craves

The sun goes up and I come down

The stars come out and I'm on the town

Out and about I can pretend I'm alright

My worth has been tied to the books so tight,

It takes all my might to step away

Take a breath, disconnect, let it fall to disarray.

These dreams, hopes, and plans I had

I had it all figured out, had it all in my head.

My determination and smarts had me living a dream

Then it turned to a nightmare, where things look worse than they seem.

Has it been 6 months already?

Damn how fast it goes

When you're sitting at home

Tired and alone

No motivation

To do what I do best.

And I can go on like this cause nobody could care less

No friends or family to make me aware

That I can better prepare, 

For my future.

That I can follow my passion,

Let that be my inspiration

To work hard and feel young

On my way to a life I'll feel I've won.

Yet it's hard to believe in that future

When I'm trapped in a sleepy town

Suffocating in Nostalgia.

Where darkness is all I see, all I breathe.

Row, Row, Row Your Boat

______________10______________

Can you coax your mind from its wandering

and keep to the original oneness?

Can you let your body become

supple as a newborn child's?

Can you cleanse your inner vision

until you see nothing but light?

Can you love people and lead them 

without imposing your will?

Can you deal with the most vital matters

by letting events take their course?

Can you step back from your own mind

and thus understand all things? 

Giving birth and nourishing,

having without possessing,

acting with no expectations,

leading and not trying to control:

this is the supreme virtue.

Verse 10, Tao Te Ching

_______________________________

Recently I got a job (yay!) and I've noticed an interesting trend among young adults my age who work. They seem to be more .... hmmm what's the word ... Centered. 

Centered, adj. : self-confident, goal-oriented, and well-balanced. 

(TheFreeDictionary.com) 

At 19-years-old, I'm supposed to have my whole life figured out, right? Wrongg. Quite the opposite, it seems things only get more confusing after graduation. We have all of these free choices we didn't have before ... where to live, who to spend our time with, what kind of work we want to do ... It's amazing. A completely structurized life dictated by the education system and parents disintegrates into an ebb & flow created by the choices we make.

Personally, I love this freedom. Living on my own for a year was the best feeling ever because I got to be completely independent and do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. Yet what puts the solo rich kid at odds with the hardworking middle class student when starting out on this limbo period? 

Well for one thing, there's a smaller margin of error. For example, if Todd McRich loses his phone & wallet on some wild and crazy night out, he can easily replace them with a few phone calls. The loss of $50? A drop in the bucket.

Karen McMiddle however, different story.  Say she loses her wallet which holds $50 and her driver's liscense: Karen has lost her gas money for the week (gonna get a workout on dat bike yo) & now has to come up with $30 she doesn't have to replace her driver's liscense. But hey, she doesn't need to do that anytime soon because she can't afford to drive her car anyways. So yeah. 

The same situation, two completely different scenarios. People who work appreciate the little things a lot more, and don't need tons of money to be happy. It's like, a hard-working young student knows he or she is on the path to success .. so they're not really concerned with what everyone else is doing. 

I'm rowing my own boat, at my own speed. You feel me?

Xx Hugs & Lovin' xX 

       Anna

None But Ourselves

I love it when I have the house all to myself, & it's just me and my kitty. It's when I have this space to myself that I get inspired to do laundry or make a crazy cool mural on my wall. When someone is telling me what to do ... I just don't want to do it.

____________________8______________________

The supreme good is like water,
Which nourishes all things without trying to.
It is content with the low places that people disdain.
Thus it is like the Tao.

In dwelling, live close to the ground.
In thinking, keep to the simple.
In conflict, be fair and generous.
In governing, don't try to control.
In work, do what you enjoy.
In family life, be completely present.

When you are content to be simply yourself
and don't compare or compete,
everybody will respect you.

Verse 8, Tao Te Ching

_____________________________________________

I feel like this verse from the Dao particularly applies to my life up till this point. That has been my biggest weakness all along: comparing myself to others.

Like that was my problem in New York. I was more concerned & obsessed with other people's lives and accomplishments that the only time I left for myself was filled throwing a pity party. Grosss.

I remember this one time back on the east coast where I hadn't seen or spoken to my very best girlfriend, Luna, for two weeks. These two weeks hadn't been the best for me and I was angry with her for being absent during them. I marched over to her dorm ready to tell her off for being a bad friend & everything. When I told her that it had hurt me that I had been struggling with some overwhelming emotions and she wasn't around for support, she said, "I didn't realize you depended on me so much."

I was kinda taken a back. Not really the response I had been expecting, certainly not the one I would have given at the time, but you know what, there was truth behind Luna's words.

Why don't we depend on ourselves more? We are all equipped with the tools & life skills to make ourselves happy. Sometimes it just takes a little momentum, but creating/building that momentum is a positive action because we know those steps will lead to happiness. We need none others but ourselves to achieve joyful bliss.

Being in the company of others should increase good vibrations, not replace them.

Besides family, people will come and go for various reasons. Sometimes even family, actually. Your life is an open doorway that leads to other agents to come into your life & vice versa, yet ultimately you are the one who shapes your path. 

You will see through what you want to. 

xx hugs & lovin' xx

Let It Go

 

Stole this little bit from my Tumblr browse this morning, because it couldn't be more true at this point. I have this bad habit at looking at all of the mishaps that have happened along the way and honing in on the crap that it made me feel, rather than taking the lesson and moving on. If I'm going to move outta here and be alone with myself, living on my own and all that, I can't keep throwing a pity party for myself.  Things have to change.

One of the things that gets me trapped in this vicious circle is bad eating habits. Once I lose a little bit of weight, I get pleased enough to reward myself. Yet I make the mistake of rewarding myself more than once, and before I know it the weight is back on. Along with giving in to my sugar tooth comes a slow, sluggish energy that no amount of coffee can cure. This leads me to act lazy and cancel on appointments I would normally keep. 

Because I need to depend on myself right? A support system is great and all but you can just start throwing yourself at groups of people expecting them to clean you up. No, you need to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and realize your worth so you can present yourself in the best possible light alwaysss. 

Don't worry about the haters, just focus on your motivators. Don't worry, be happy (: 

Affirmation to the Universe: I am getting a job today. I am getting a job today. I am getting a job today. 

xx Hugs & Luvin' xx