Inconceivable Time Lapse

Can't believe it

I can't believe I'm here

& not there.

Every second that ticks by in this room

"Plop", my brain stops producing new cells

Some teachers make me think that being a professor requires vanity.

Vanity to enjoy the sound of their own voice.

My youth is slipping away as I sit here.

Youth is perception.

It can have a fever of 110 degrees that envelops your body & mind.

Age is relentless.

It keeps coming & coming,

Not stopping to ask if we're ready

To advance to the next year

Step up, step down

Reach up, reach down

Can I still start over at 19?

22?

25?

When will the switch be turned

Oh, a huge ominous hand

Shaking it's stern finger at me

Telling me it's time to stop having fun

and grow up?

Grow up

Be young

Whichever way you've gone

I have to go different

Maybe I will grow up one day

Or maybe I'll remain

A trivial loop of finding myself

and starting over.

Come towards me, an unmistakeable

smirk

Believe my anxiety, with all that is your 

girth.

Can I placate this moment ?

Why do you slave me?

I have no magic touch,

no beauty.

You wanna be free

circling, rounding, pounding,

Teaasing, tickling, mumbling

Consuming

And I can almost guarantee in the morning I'll forget

All those beautiful words you uttered,

Under your breath

Blinding me, your love makes me forget.

<3

Hola, I'm Aliveee

Hi to anyone perusing this page right now.

If you've taken the time to scroll through some of my posts (thank you by the way) you'll see that this is my first post in a whileee, to say the least.

I'm back now! Let's just say that I wasn't living by the motto I created this blog by.

So I decided to take a little break and it did my wonders! For some reason the busier I am, the happier I am and the more conscientious I am about taking care of myself. I know, doesn't make sense but whatevs.

Lately inspiration has been hitting my from all angles and I'm excited to delve back into this little project I started.

For now I just wanted to update you guys as to my existence and leave you with a quote I read the other day that stuck to me like glue. I don't know where it's from so if you do, please comment down below!

" 'How does one become a butterfly?' she asked pensively.

                'You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar.' "

Hugs & Lovin' xoxo

Anna

Row, Row, Row Your Boat

______________10______________

Can you coax your mind from its wandering

and keep to the original oneness?

Can you let your body become

supple as a newborn child's?

Can you cleanse your inner vision

until you see nothing but light?

Can you love people and lead them 

without imposing your will?

Can you deal with the most vital matters

by letting events take their course?

Can you step back from your own mind

and thus understand all things? 

Giving birth and nourishing,

having without possessing,

acting with no expectations,

leading and not trying to control:

this is the supreme virtue.

Verse 10, Tao Te Ching

_______________________________

Recently I got a job (yay!) and I've noticed an interesting trend among young adults my age who work. They seem to be more .... hmmm what's the word ... Centered. 

Centered, adj. : self-confident, goal-oriented, and well-balanced. 

(TheFreeDictionary.com) 

At 19-years-old, I'm supposed to have my whole life figured out, right? Wrongg. Quite the opposite, it seems things only get more confusing after graduation. We have all of these free choices we didn't have before ... where to live, who to spend our time with, what kind of work we want to do ... It's amazing. A completely structurized life dictated by the education system and parents disintegrates into an ebb & flow created by the choices we make.

Personally, I love this freedom. Living on my own for a year was the best feeling ever because I got to be completely independent and do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. Yet what puts the solo rich kid at odds with the hardworking middle class student when starting out on this limbo period? 

Well for one thing, there's a smaller margin of error. For example, if Todd McRich loses his phone & wallet on some wild and crazy night out, he can easily replace them with a few phone calls. The loss of $50? A drop in the bucket.

Karen McMiddle however, different story.  Say she loses her wallet which holds $50 and her driver's liscense: Karen has lost her gas money for the week (gonna get a workout on dat bike yo) & now has to come up with $30 she doesn't have to replace her driver's liscense. But hey, she doesn't need to do that anytime soon because she can't afford to drive her car anyways. So yeah. 

The same situation, two completely different scenarios. People who work appreciate the little things a lot more, and don't need tons of money to be happy. It's like, a hard-working young student knows he or she is on the path to success .. so they're not really concerned with what everyone else is doing. 

I'm rowing my own boat, at my own speed. You feel me?

Xx Hugs & Lovin' xX 

       Anna