Can't believe it
I can't believe I'm here
& not there.
Every second that ticks by in this room
"Plop", my brain stops producing new cells
Some teachers make me think that being a professor requires vanity.
Vanity to enjoy the sound of their own voice.
My youth is slipping away as I sit here.
Youth is perception.
It can have a fever of 110 degrees that envelops your body & mind.
Age is relentless.
It keeps coming & coming,
Not stopping to ask if we're ready
To advance to the next year
Step up, step down
Reach up, reach down
Can I still start over at 19?
22?
25?
When will the switch be turned
Oh, a huge ominous hand
Shaking it's stern finger at me
Telling me it's time to stop having fun
and grow up?
Grow up
Be young
Whichever way you've gone
I have to go different
Maybe I will grow up one day
Or maybe I'll remain
A trivial loop of finding myself
and starting over.
Come towards me, an unmistakeable
smirk
Believe my anxiety, with all that is your
girth.
Can I placate this moment ?
Why do you slave me?
I have no magic touch,
no beauty.
You wanna be free
circling, rounding, pounding,
Teaasing, tickling, mumbling
Consuming
And I can almost guarantee in the morning I'll forget
All those beautiful words you uttered,
Under your breath
Blinding me, your love makes me forget.
<3
